Deeply Flawed and Glitteringly Anxious
Sept 2021 - Jan 2022 📍 Storm Lake, IA
Typography, digital textiles, marketing, and written work for an art exhibition at Buena Vista University in Storm Lake, Iowa. I arrived in Storm Lake in 2019 believing art should speak through visuals alone, but I’ve always been a text-heavy person, using words to connect with myself and the world. Inspired by artists like Barbara Kruger and Christopher Wool, who used text as a powerful voice, I embraced this approach despite advice to “strip the text.”
This exhibition represents six months of my life, from July to December 2021, mapping heartbreak, healing, and self-discovery through panic attacks, therapy sessions, and moments of joy and longing. Losing a relationship led me to meet myself, nurturing my flaws and seeing life’s beauty even in devastation. 13 designs, bold and vulnerable, capture that tension and are meant to resonate with the viewer’s own memories of fear, heartbreak, and resilience, highlighting the pain and beauty we all carry that makes life feel glittery and also anxiety-inducing.
The order shown here is the order shown as was on display in the Buena Vista University Main Gallery from December 10, 2021, to January 19, 2022.
WARNING! (December 2021)
The opening piece for the exhibition was a play on the copyright bumper shown before Universal Pictures Home Entertainment releases on VHS from the 1990s to mid-2000s. This spoof was instead replaced with instructions on what not to do to an artist: break their heart.
This piece was chosen as the opening, as the copyright bumper was the opener for VHS releases.
Created in Adobe Illustrator
Canyon Moon (September 2021)
This piece contains a scan of an illustration, recolored and reformatted to include text containing lyrics from “Canyon Moon” by Harry Styles. The artwork has been reframed from its penciled drawing to feel vibrant yet carries an undertone of moodiness. The lyrics are spaced apart to communicate a sense of distance, with the pronouns of two characters (an ‘I’ and ‘you’) spliced apart, just as the text implies there is a distance between the two.
Illustration by Calvin Shaykett with pencil on paper, with typography added by McMillan in Procreate. Colorized and formatted in Adobe Photoshop by McMillan.
Our Final Pleas (October 2021)
This piece introduces a Polaroid frame motif that will recur throughout the remainder of the exhibition. It is also apart of its more distinctive digital textile works that are interlaced with handwritten text. The Polaroid holds ‘final pleas’ between two people, with its form leaking white that begins to drain the color out of the surrounding textiles.
Created in Procreate
All Those You’s (October 2021)
Another digital textile piece, the work contains a simple yearning for self-discovery.
Created in Procreate
Deeply Flawed and Glitteringly Anxious (October 2021)
One of the final digital textile works in the exhibition, the title piece is a visual voyage through anxiety and its many layers — outside expectations, inner contradictions, and mismatching colors. The work also serves a self portrait, a photo shot by Max Powers and edited by McMillan.
Created in Procreate
You’re the One, Rhythms I, II, and III (May 2021)
Three works with the text “You Are the One You Have Been Waiting For”, that play with text placement and its cadences, these pieces were created before production for the exhibition began. The set of three variants are called Rhythms, inspired by performance artist Marina Abromović’s Rhythms series that saw that the artist use her body as a forum for vulnerability and exploration. It is also plays into the concept of song as the vessel for these themes, guided by rhythm. Here, these three Rhythms convey long awaited self-discovery.
Created in Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator
You’re the One, Rhythm II
Rhythm II was displayed behind Rhythm I to its left. It is the most rudimentary form, introducing a Barbra Kruger color palette with a Christopher Wool hyphenated technique that recurs in the other two Rhtyhms.
Created in Adobe Photoshop
You’re the One, Rhythm I
Displayed most prominently in the gallery, Rhythm I was pushed forward with Rhythms II and III behind it. The piece contains several songs and poems in its background that were used by friends during their own heartbreaks. Embedded among these written works are different bolds, italics, or underlined formats, used to indicate that friend and their ex-lover’s initial. This is the only rhythm that the front text does not have sharp edges, indicating freedom and the ability to become less rigid.
Created in Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator
You’re the One, Rhythm III
The final rhythm is a simple variation, with dissolved prints in its background, inspired by the printmaking process.
Created in Adobe Photoshop
Overheated (Nov 2021)
Containing well-intentioned yet backhanded compliments in a loop around the artist’s eye, the line “Your reaction to me is not my responsibility” is inspired by a monologue from the singer Billie Eilish. The monologue serves as the piece’s background, distorted in waveforms that make it impossible to read.
Created in Adobe Photoshop and Adobe Illustrator
Fuck! (December 2021)
Evoking the art style of a vintage Coca-Cola ad, the short piece is a humorous anxious spiral.
Created in Adobe Photoshop
When You’re a Star (Nov 2021)
A quote by U.S. President Donald J. Trump proclaiming his respect for women is juxtaposed against an image of him backstage with Access Hollywood host Billy Bush in 2005. The image is from a viral moment that leaked during Trump’s 2016 bid for president, where he was heard stating, “I'm automatically attracted to beautiful... I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab them by the pussy.”
Created in Adobe Photoshop
Visions (Nov 2021)
Scanned images of childlike shapes, inspired by drawings done in EMDR therapy to access nonverbal memories. The text is a line from Alanis Morrisette’s 1998 single, “Thank U”.
Created in Adobe Photoshop
The Life and Death and Life Again of Blake McMillan (Dec 2021)
The final piece of work in the exhibition, this text based work sees the word “me” go through iterative changes based on the writer’s emotional turbulence. At its start, “me” is not realized, then later squished, twisted around, disappears, until it is finally found at the end.
Created in Adobe Photoshop
Photos from opening night by Brayden Bergum.
Thank you to Lona and Don Munger, Mary Mello-Nee, Taylor Carlson, Dave Boelter, William and Lavina Wesselink, Kyra Martin, Lily Matsuda, Calvin Shaykett, Dan Newcomb, Alondra Melendez, Rachel Hardy, Brison, LeeReyna Lopez, and Jeff Hodges.
